my contest

Most of us have a few regrets about our relationships. That’s just life.

This article is about how you can learn from your regrets and use them to strategically build exceptional relationships . . . relationships that are so good you won’t have future regrets in your personal or professional life . . . relationships that will reward you with great happiness.

No Regret Relationships

I got the idea for “No Regret Relationships” from one of the hardest experiences of my life - a near death experience. As I lay in my hospital bed recovering from the tragic event that almost took my life, I realized the utter importance of relationships . . . and I suddenly understood I had never given my relationships enough attention . . .

Nor had I been as loving and caring as I wished.

So I developed a plan to enhance all my current relationships and to make the most of future relationships. While doing this, I developed a relationship coaching program to help my clients create the most satisfying and enjoyable relationships possible. The following brief ideas are taken from my no-regret relationship coaching program.

How To Conduct No Regret Relationships

1. Put your relationships first.

2. Live your life in such a way as you will not harm anyone. In other words, simply do no harm in your relationships. Conduct all relationships in a manner so you will do right by everyone, even if they are unkind to you.

Yes, this is harder than it sounds, but it’s possible . . . if you set this lofty but attainable goal, and really go after it, you can do it.

If you apply this idea to all forms of communication in your relationships, your relationships will become intensely more satisfying!

2. Accept responsibility for your actions, admit you are wrong, apologize and take swift and certain steps to make a bad relationship better. If you accidentally do harm or make a mistake in your relationships, fix it immediately.

3. Prevent regrets. That means you will actively care for your relationships and keep them in such good working order that you allow no regrets to occur.

You won’t put off relationship responsibilities.

You will enjoy remarkably healthy relationships that will bring you endless benefits when you do your best by each and every relationship in your life . . . and if your life suddenly ended, you would leave without regret . . . because all your relationships would be in tip-top shape. This would bring new meaning to the process of death and dying . . . and incredible peace of mind.

Think of it, all the people in your life would be better in some way because of you!

You would leave a legacy of excellent, loving relationships . . . and through those relationships you would leave the world a better place. Many ripples would go out from those relationships, ripples affecting many situations and people. Through your relationships, both more important and less important, you would make a significant impact upon the affairs of others.

Above all, you would leave a marvelous example of how to live and love and serve. You would be a relationship benefactor to many, whose loving acts would impact countless others.

Unquestionably your positive influence would live on long after you.

4. Inject a newfound generosity and kindness into your relationships, and think of every relationship as having the potential to change lives. Love and relationships are the pathways of our expression. Relationships are the means by which we express our love.

5. Listen with every ounce of your energy when people share themselves with you. Listening from your heart takes courage, will power and self-discipline, but it does wonders for people! And it will do wonders for you, if you listen to discover new ways you can contribute to your relationships.

Listening with great focus and energy allows you to explore ways you could not only give more to your relationships, but become more thoughtful and appreciative, or find small but creative ways to touch lives.

The beauty of the ideas behind No Regret Relationships is their simplicity and power. And they work! They’ve worked for many of my clients, and they’ll work for you, too.

My near death experience showed me just how important our relationships truly are . . . and how priceless! Also, it gave me a refreshing perspective on death and dying. One that has helped me to see relationships as precious and sacred cargo.

Give to your relationships and they will give to you unimaginable treasures.

Take these techniques for a test drive. What a favorable impact they’ll have on your relationships, great or small.

Richard Hamon is a professional therapist, consultant and coach with nearly 30 years of experience. Richard helps people to enjoy truly extraordinary relationships and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.

Get your FREE report, “The Five Biggest Relationship Mistakes And How To Avoid Them,” at Richard’s website. In this confidential report Richard offers you practical, effective tips and suggestions on how to prevent the mistakes that can derail your most precious relationships.

Also . . . Richard has written a unique eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution: Relationship Success Secrets Revealed by A Remarkable Near Death Experience.

It’s about an actual Near Death Experience the author had in 2003, which transformed his life and led to a series of fascinating secrets, insights and revelations about building the world’s happiest relationships.

For your FREE report or more information on the eBook, go to: http://ultimate-relationship-solution.com

The process of strategic thinking allows us to analyze situations and problems - and then prepare the plan that will take us to new levels or through a change. First, let’s look at the difference between strategic thinking and strategic planning, and put our focus on thinking. Strategic thinking is the input to planning, the creation of a vision for the future. Strategic planning, then, is the roadmap from where we are to where we want to be, the answer having appeared in our thinking process. We probably do quite a bit of strategic thinking in all aspects of our lives, but it’s necessary to put it on a formal level in order to really take action. What are the benefits of strategic thinking?

First, strategic thinking allows us to solve problems collaboratively and from varying perspectives. In a true strategic thinking process, even if the only person involved is you, different perspectives will emerge. Second, strategic thinking helps us manage change. We are able to analyze not only where we want to be after a change, but also the impacts and issues that will occur during the change. Finally, strategic thinking for its own sake creates new possibilities and opportunities. Sometimes a broad range of topic categories in a brainstorming session can lead us to fantastic new ideas.

The process itself revolves around asking questions. To start, honesty will be of great importance in the answers to the questions you’ll ask. If you’re employing strategic thinking techniques for yourself, you’ll have to take a good look in the mirror and be honest about what you see. First, you must determine strengths and weaknesses, of the person, group, or company. The best tool for this is a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis. Take a large sheet of paper, divide it into four quadrants, and label each as strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. Strengths and weaknesses are usually easy to determine, but what about opportunities and threats? This takes more analysis, more future predictions based on fact.

Once you’ve answered your SWOT, you have to ask, “just what is the big picture?” This is where you’ll think about where you or the organization needs to be. In a family situation, let’s say conflict arises every night at bedtime. Obviously the place you want to be is conflict-free. In filling in the big picture, don’t overcomplicate matters - yet. It’s easy to paint a picture of the ideal if you don’t cloud it with detail. Leave that for your planning process.

Next, consider all points of view. Andy Grove, the former chairman of Intel Corporation, always said that the best way to solve a problem was to take yourself and your emotions out of it - and observe it as an outsider. Of course this again means that you’ll have to take a hard look at yourself and your group. This also means that after you’ve looked at the overall situation, you may have to go back in, still as an outsider, and analyze why people feel and act they way they do when confronted with the problem.

Finally, you must determine what will drive the change when you go forward. What will drive the move from where the group is now to where it will be? Your powers of observation will come in very handy at this point - you must find out what motivates people. What inspires them to action? You can also use the observation as a way to determine the group’s capacity for the change. In a corporate environment, you may find yourself hoisting change on the wrong group, or a group that’s simply not equipped to handle it at the time. From there, the problem becomes which group to move to or how to equip the current group.

One of the best ways to begin any type of strategic thinking is to hold a brainstorming session. GE held sessions like these under Jack Welch - and they later became a formal problem solving vehicle that all business units took part in. It could be as informal as the family sitting around the kitchen table discussing the issues. Or, let’s say it’s a church group that’s about to embark on a big change in policy, doctrine, or business. In either case, you as the natural leader should strive to get everyone involved, record the honest feedback of the group, and use it to shape the vision.

Once you’ve been through the thinking process, you’ll be ready to create a plan of execution - that roadmap from where you are now to where you want to be.

Copyright 2007-2008 Bryant Nielson. All Rights Reserved.

Bryant Nielson - National Corporate Sales Trainer - assists executives, business owners, and top performing sales executives in taking the leap from the ordinary to extraordinary. Bryant is a trainer, business & leadership coach, and strategic planner for many sales organizations. Bryant’s 27 year business career has been based on his results-oriented style of empowering.

Subscribe to his blog at: http://www.BryantNielson.com

When we were younger, my husband and I would get in bed at night and spend a few minutes going over our day. Over the 38 years this custom helped us remain connected even as it has evolved.

Our daily review had slowly turned into noting all the problems we had to deal with. And when that got to be a bit depressing for night time talk we just dropped out the whole review altogether. When we noticed we were missing that connection we started up again with a new form - appreciations - and we love it.

At first it was a little forced but now it has grown and evolved into a robust and nurturing tradition.

We start by talking about at least three things we appreciate about the day. Sometimes we do have to reach a bit to find three things but mostly many more than three things just come flowing one after the other.

We add at least one appreciation from each of the following categories:

What we appreciate about each other

What we appreciate about ourselves

What we appreciate about our health

What we appreciate about our wealth/ prosperity

What we appreciate about ourselves as the creator of our own life

Plus, every night we rotate through all the members of our family and say at least one thing we appreciate about whose ever turn it is

We also add a thing or two that we appreciate about our dogs.

We end our Appreciations with our intentions for the night and our intentions for what we want to create for tomorrow.

You might be looking at this idea and get tired just thinking about doing it. Maybe it seems overwhelming to you - “I can’t think of that many things to appreciate” or “I don’t have that much time I have to get to sleep sometime tonight”. But that is probably you just being stuck in your old ways.

Really, it only takes about 5 minutes. It is relaxing and fun to do. Plus, it is supportive, nurturing, and soothing, builds a great connective relationship, and certainly helps you sleep better than thinking about all that went wrong that day or all that you have to do tomorrow.

I can remember so well the day that our “grandog” Ko-Hai got hit by a car. We really love that dog and it was such a touch and go day - would he make it or not? Just before going to bed, my son called from the animal hospital and wanted to talk to me about the Vet’s recommendations. The vet thought we should put Ko-Hai down. Ko-Hai was having a very hard time and didn’t look good at all. According to the vet “dogs who get hit by cars going 55 mph don’t live.” My son and I talked at length about what to do. We cried a lot and in the end he decided to let Ko-Hai have his chance to recover.

When I got in bed after that phone call and my husband started our Appreciation Ritual, I just cried and said I could not find anything in myself to appreciate that day. But he started anyway saying we had a lot to appreciate:

Ko-Hai was still alive

Luckily, the person who hit him knew whose dog he was and came right away to tell us he had hit Ko-Hai. If he had not done that Ko-Hai would have certainly died by the side of the road and we might never have known - just another missing dog

We could appreciate that we had been able to find Ko-Hai after he had been hit. He had staggered off into the bushes before he fell down.

We could appreciate that the nearest vet had still been open (it was Saturday) and was able to stabilize Ko-Hai for the hour trip to the Emergency Care Animal Hospital.

Yes, even in the face of something sad and scary and traumatic there were things we could find to appreciate.

Taking the time to appreciate your life changes you in ways you won’t fully understand until appreciation becomes a natural part of your life. I can tell you all the incredibly wonderful things appreciation does for your biochemistry - real chemical and physical changes. How appreciation helps relieve your experience of stress. How it makes you more creative and intuitive. How your relationships are better when you practice appreciation. And these are all good reasons to make appreciation a formal part of your life. But the biggest gain you get from setting aside time every day - no matter what - to review and savor what you appreciate in your life is that it helps you to live a joyful life.

Right now - this very moment - pick 3 things you appreciate about today. And now design your own Appreciation Ritual.

- And Ko-Hai is fully recovered now and as sweet and loving as ever.

Copyright (c) 2008 Mary Ann Copson

Mary Ann Copson is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center for Women. With Master’s Degrees in Human Development and Psychology and Counseling, Mary Ann is a Certified Licensed Nutritionist; Certified Holistic Health Practitioner; Brain Chemistry Profile Clinician. Find your Health, Wellness and Lifestyle Coach and reconnect to your physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual natural rhythms at http://evenstaronline.com

Many people plod along in the same old routine, day in and day out. More likely than not, they don’t even realize they are in a rut; they just take this as the norm, that this is the way life is. There is, however, a better life just waiting around the corner by putting into practice the saying “tomorrow is the first day of the chocolate of your life- or something along those lines.

The fact is you can pick up any number of books like the classic “Think and grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and you will discover the formulas to completely turn your life around. So, get rid of all those negative thoughts and start to change into just what you want to be.

From tomorrow, remember, the first day of the rest of your life, you will need to really have faith in yourself and believe that you will be successful at any attempted task. Naturally, this is not easy at the beginning, but if you think positive, and have a plan, it all becomes achievable. Decide which route you are going to take to obtain the victory you yearn for. Be firm and put your new plan into action, trying not to have any doubts about it and being positive at all times. As you accomplish each step, you will feel more and more confident. Give yourself some praise, a pat on the back maybe, and prove to yourself that in only a matter of time definite success and the reaching of your goals are going to be reality.

Don’t forget to take time to visualize your dreams and the exhilaration you will feel upon achieving success, at least twice daily. Pretend it has already happened and you are right there where you want to be. Keep negative thoughts at bay and don’t allow any doubts to creep your mind. It’s no good thinking things like, “I wish this was so”. You must stay positive and enjoy your newfound success. Enjoy the fabulous new house you are living in and the flashy motor you drive around the streets of your home town.

There is a story of a very successful business man, who achieved his triumph at a time when he not only had no money, but had lots of debt. He had a dream and he believed in it absolutely. Even his family and friends believed he had made it to the big time way before he did, just because of his positive attitude. These days his success goes from strength to strength.

There are loads of places where you can read up more on this subject and lift yourself out of the rut. Formulate your plan with small and easy to achieve steps and trust in your ability to carry the plan through. Never doubt yourself, and remember to congratulate yourself as you reach each step. Visualize your dreams and the feeling which come with your achievement, even listen out for the comments others are making about you. In fact, don’t wait until tomorrow for the next day of the rest of your life - start today and accessories in the pink in mind and body as you progress to the height of your success.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of Be Successful News, a site that provides information and articles on how to succeed in your own home or small business.

Many years ago I remember going through a real tough time. Real tough!! I remember sitting down by the sea and just staring into space. Looking out at the large space between myself and the horizon. All the challenges going through my mind. I was finding it hard to think positive and pick my self up. Real hard!

I was feeling real sorry for myself. I just sat throwing stones into the water one by one. Big ,small, flat sharp,smooth. Then for some bizarre reason I began to ask myself, “Where did these stones come from? where had they been? What journey had they taken to be here, on this beach?” And why were some smooth and almost …polished?

It came to me. The smooth and the sharp stones had both started part of a big rock and had eventually broken away. (Like a child from its parent) The smoother stones were the ones that had been beaten and smacked against the bed and worn away by the water and strong currents. (Almost like our external circumstances we come across) Clashing with the other stones. The rocks away from the water, protected from adversity and challenges, had remained sharp and rough. It was only the stones that had been in the water, taking the hard times and the beatings (mental challenges for us) that would end up polished.

I just found it a reflection of life really.

Get out there and take the risks and the hits from the dream stealers who are ready to criticize you and tell you how you will fail! Every adversity holds a seed of opportunity. Even if the only lesson you receive is one that makes you stronger. You have gained the simone perele to deal with this situation better the next time. Maybe you now have the knowledge to help someone else through the same challenge.

Just remember. celebrity the hard times that will polish you.

Rob Snow

http://www.alacusht-inspirations.co.uk

Life coaching and personal development